Just having some fun here, but some of these are really annoying:
The way most bands rely on keyboardists to do everything that other people haven’t taken the time to learn (usually PA stuff, but includes charts, lyric sheets, scheduling), but don’t want to pay us more to do double duty.
Note these same band members neither help you carry your gear in, NOR do they help you carry/setup the stuff they didn’t want to learn about, and then disappear for “sound check” and complain afterwards that you should have hunted them down.
They ask you to be in the back of the stage because you’re not mobile (and make fun of you when you buy a keytar to address the fact that no one can see you).
The drummer who expects you to bring mics and cables for their kit, and then complains because you don’t have the right mics (which they read about in a John Bonham sound on sound article).
Keep asking you to turn them up in their monitors when there is an app for that
Is it any wonder that we make the sax either completely dry (post soundcheck of course), or use a totally wet reverb with a 10 second tail
And am I the only one that has figured out that the only way to make the drummer play quieter is to turn the drums in his monitor up to ear-bleeding levels?
The bass player who asks “Why aren’t you playing all the horn parts?”, or more annoyingly “You’re playing the horn parts wrong!” when it’s repeated 16th note chords at 162 BPM.
The (usually) guitarist who asks you to join the band, assuring you that he has charts to make learning the songs easier, only to find out that they are guitar tablature.
Those that get on keyboard forums and ask where they can get keyboard tab.
The band leader who sends you a MIDI file when you ask for a chart (added bonus - it’s a guitar player who plays 16 notes at a time across 6 octaves).
Horn players who play over the keyboard parts because the original didn’t have horns in it without asking the keyboard player first (sometimes we have to delegate because we only have two hands.
Showing up at a gig (usually a church gig) and get told that they just want you to play pads - especially insulting when the “piano player” that day is not really a piano player, and would be far better at playing pads but is afraid of anything that has a power chord and buttons.
And all those that don’t follow the golden rules of playing in bands:
Don’t be an a$$hole and turn up every song.
When the leader says “stretch the solo”, that doesn’t mean that you should take over everyone elses solo spot.
The keyboard player deserves to be visible in the band picture
The band that insists on playing the exact same arrangement, criticises the keyboard player for not playing all the parts, but refuses to use any backing tracks “on principle”
Hmm…sounds exactly what I have experienced for the last 58 years! The technology and music has radically changed, but, unfortunaely, band members haven’t changed at all.
LOL… I decided it was time to retire a couple of years ago for most of those reasons and a few others. Keyboards are awesome but I think I’ll pick up sax or a horn in my next life!
I can probably tick off a few there, especially handling all of the tech and being the guy who digs all of the other playetrs out of trouble when they have broken leads. Funny how they take the piss out of me for taking care with the leads when breaking down as opposed to throwing them all into the bag as spaghetti…
Ah yes. On board with a lot of that. e.g.
Deputising for an entire orchestra (and choir).
Plaintively asking what exactly I’m supposed to do in yet another entirely guitar based rock classic.
Arguing over the right chord because all the versions on Ultimate Guitar are wrong.
Not having ‘the right sound’ (I’ve had it with spending hours tweaking this or that, only for any subtlety to disappear in the noise at rehearsal)
Bemoaning my lack of a third hand. (“Can’t you get some bass pedals or something?”)
Our (ahem) media person posted a video from a recent gig where I am off the side of the field of view for the entire song.
Still, it has to be said that being on stage with a good bunch of people playing a good gig is like a superpower!
I’ve solved most of these by being band leader and lead singer, in addition to keyboard duties
It does get a bit busy before a show, because there’s a lot of baby-sitting the tech side of things (of course, as keyboardist, I’m also the resident tech), but at least no-one tells me what to play or how to play it - we may have a polite conversation to align parts, though…
That’s one of the reasons why I’m starting to use backing tracks more and more… it also allows me to turn down the drummer and guitar player more efficiently (especially as they’re not there ).
Watch out! Just one tiny glitch and you will be persecuted for at least a year. After all, it’s always the leader’s fault…but usually, it’s always the drummer’s fault, BY DEFAULT.! So,using the drummer defense may lessen your persecution time.
I get the raised eye brow for that sometimes because I play a lot of bass lines with the left and hand off to a real bass player for the other part of the night. After a year of it I am better trained now. I also get told to change my keys octave because it’s in the register as the guitar, it’s like I’m under foot no matter what …
Just my experience over 60 years. Even quit a good band because I failed to grow a second pair of hands after the second keyboarder had died. He was the one for the pads, by the way.
